I have to admit that having been a server for a few years in college makes me both more understanding and more critical at the same time. On the one hand, I know how easy it is to get “in the weeds.” On the other hand, I was trained to deliver great service and can often find ways our server doesn’t rise to the challenge.
I used to leave the server a tip according to the perceived level of service. 15% is standard, right? So you had to be really great to get a 20% tip. This felt judicious and reasonable and fair.
But since the recession, I have started to think differently about tipping service people of all kinds. I kept hearing stories about how people were eating out less, getting their hair cut less, certainly vacationing less. And it seems like the people most affected by this are the people who can afford it the least.
[Servers, for example, make far less than minimum wage, usually no more than $3 or $4 an hour. Rather, tips make up the bulk of their wages. Usually, servers take home the tips they make, and they are lucky if the base wages actually paid by the restaurant cover their taxes due.]
Despite the recession, I’m still able to eat out with my family. I’m still getting my hair cut, and I’m still taking cabs and traveling regularly. So I’ve started viewing these interactions as opportunities to help out the people working hard every day and probably taking home less than they used to, through no fault of their own. To help compensate for fewer customers with tighter purse strings, I’ve become an “over-tipper.”
20% is now my minimum tip for servers and hairdressers and the like. An extra few bucks means almost nothing to me but can make a big difference to these people.
And even if I use a credit or debit card to pay for the service, I try to tip in cash so the service person can have it immediately to take home. It’s more flexible for them and they may need the cash flow, rather than waiting for the company to put credit card tips into their next pay check.
I’m also trying to be more mindful of tipping the various people I run into in the course of my business travels: hotel doormen who get me a cab and housekeepers who clean the room like the invisible Hogwarts house-elves. (more on how to tip while traveling)
Beyond the people you tip each time they provide a service, many etiquette writers suggest you tip folks during the holidays as a way to say “thanks” for great service throughout the year. Check this article “10 tips on tipping: Who gets how much?“
So if you’d like to join my new club, “Overtippers Anonymous,” be warned: it’s not a way to save a few bucks. But instead of feeling judicious (which I look at in a completely different way, now seeing how close it is to “judgmental”), you’ll feel gratitude, solidarity and joy.